Famous Politicians Have Dig At Northenden
Gee, this bomb site is just like eye-rack
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By Vernon Reid & Adam B. Photoshop
July 2006
June of this year saw the return of the Northenden.Net Archaeological Dig Project. Last year the response to the project was amazing, with hundreds of people coming from all parts of the village - and not all of them were on their way home from the Chinese at the end of Mill Lane. Some were on their way home from the Tatton. Not only did our project generate massive publicity for the village - there was scandal surrounding the advertising campaign, when it emerged that the council had paid vandals to deface the walls of our famous flyover. There was also a healthy amount of discussion of whether digging up a carpark was a worthwhile use of public money when the village is desperate need of maintenance and more policing. Local campaigners also argued that whilst generating publicity for the village is never a bad idea, it might be better to do it when the state of the village is such that the place is worth publicising. It can also be argued that Northenden is already well publicised anyway - we are famous not just for our past achievements but for having a world beating array of modern day massage parlours.
Local resident and archaeology fan Ben Lynott
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Local Residents Endorse Archaeology
After careful deliberation and considering the above factors, it seems the committee has decided that Northenden is in need of publicity and the dig is the ideal vehicle for generating it. Several famous politicians and celebrities were in attendance at the open day in early July, as our pictures show. A good time was had by all present, including pensioners and residents from Wythenshawe. We spoke to Mr Ben Lynott of Hollyhedge Flats (pictured at the dig, left) who told us, "I came to reacquiant myself with some old colleagues, George and Tony who are amongst the visitors on site today, and thank them for my housing grant. I wish to register my enthusiasm for the archaeology project and reiterate my support and congratulate everyone involved on their hard work and effort. Northenden is an excellent place to live. Oh, and can you look down the hole for me, I had Beckham's autograph but I think I've dropped it down there. Cheers."
In all, the two years of archaeology have been worthwhile and educational, the only disappointment being that fewer Manchester United players than expected turned up to the open day. Mr Ferdinand's spokesman told us "Yeh but its naffink to do innit".
Follow That...
So how do we top such a successful summer of archaeology? With another one of course. Next year the Northenden.Net Archaeological Project will be looking into the possibility of digging up Total's forecourt, in search of Dave "Hatchet" McBride's head plus two of his fingers. These articles were not recovered by the police during the 1970's investigation. Northenden.Net will of course keep you informed of progress with the plans.