Who Torched My Bleedin Boozer - Part 2
A bit late for a barbeque
|
So, another year, another of our famous pubs bites the dust. That's not the only element to this deja vu - we've had another fire, too. Or two, to be precise; just to make sure. As our brilliant article shows in minute detail, this year it's the turn of the Church Inn to get mysteriously burned down. Two of the most popular questions in the village at the moment are "who's next?", followed closely by "when is "Arsonists" going to turn up as a kosher category in the yellow pages?".
Some of you people will know that the Church was the favourite pub of my Godson Vinnie before he moved to Salford. No-one was saddened more to hear that the Church had pulled its last pint. There was a crumb of consolation though, in the assurance that the Church wouldn't look any different after being redeveloped - it is listed. Such irresponsible acts as arson however, may jeapordise the property developer's ability to maintain as much of the pub's current appearance as possible. It may even have to be demolished. Let me assure you that Ern, Vinnie and myself are still investigating the incident in 2004 at the Jolly Carter and now we're on the case with this one too. To put it very mildly, Vinnie is not a happy man. To be continued.
Noo, ya cannae hav ma' autograph lassie.
|
A Rose by Another Name (Narcissus?)
Now. The latest edition of Labour Club's glossy newsletter "The Rose" is the best one yet. Not because it's packed with worthwhile or useful local information; in short, it's not. It's full of the usual self-congratulatory rubbish about money which will be invested in the Metrolink (How many people have forgotten what happened to the Metro money last time? I know I'm an old duffer, but just how short do these people think my memory is? Does anyone know if I collected my pension this week and if I have gone senile and started to talk to fruit yet?) and the usual obligatory one about how the Lib Dems are a bunch of liars - this time, our intrepid opposition would stoop so low as to bring Mancheter's excellent Christie Hospital into a shameful bid to win votes. Utter nonsense, and who are these "Lib Dems" anyway? Does anyone care apart from Labour Club? I don't think so.
Anyway. Got a bit sidetracked there. The latest Rose is almost so good that we considered reproducing it in full on the web site. The new editor has either been dumped with the job (those amongst you who watch TV will realise that Mr Cowell is now busy with the X-Factor) or stitched up by the printers. I say this because if I had been given the dubious honour of editing this newsletter, I probably wouldn't have printed my own picture EIGHT (yes, that's right, eight) times on the front, nor would I have devoted almost half of the copy to quoting myself on local matters - and I can't really imagine that this apparent example of extreme narcissism would have been what the editor intended. Top marks though, for printing this picture with Jock Reid - who looks as if he's just grinding up the last remnant of the Operation Motorcross scrambling bike he's eaten. So, congratulations to the Rose team. I haven't laughed this much since Big Vinnie put a brick through next door's stereo.
Ah, go on then - don't say I never give you people anything. Click here to see this fantastic edition of The Rose.
Northenden In Bloom 2006
|
Blooming lovely
Speaking of Roses and Narcissii, it's about time we had an update on the latest round of Northenden in Bloom which has just come to an end. The hard work which has been put into gardens and houses around Kenworthy, and also on the Roundwood Estate has not gone unnoticed by the Diary team.
There are some beautiful gardens which must have taken years of hard work to cultivate. The council newsletter "Northenden Matters" congratulates these and other local residents who have worked especially hard this year to repeat the success of previous campaigns. On behalf of those local residents, Northenden.NET would like to thank the contractors for the hard work which has gone into the floral displays outside St. Hilda's Church, shown in our picture here, and also next to the park, which you people can go and look at for yourselves. Nice.
Site of new Northenden Riverside Park
|
Weir Getting A New Park
Our brilliant Northenden Regatta article told you people about the committee's plans to reinstate Northenden as the North West's number one holiday resort.
Now. Most of you people out there know that I think Northenden has already achieved this, as we seem to have about half a million students living here at the moment. It's time for a quick update on progress. The area behind Camperlands will be cleaned up and re-named Northenden Riverside Park, and will incorporate walking and cycling routes as well as information boards relating to the mill and to the area's history. Northenden.NET collaborator Dr. Simon Shawdene has been working on content for the information boards - read his work here. We also understand that you might score a free commemorative gift from the council if you call 499 7778 before October 6th.
One of our many well behaved bikers
|
Oh No... Not Operation Motorbike...
The latest edition of esteemed local organ "The Rose", with no less than eight pictures of the new editor on the front page, plus the compulsory article about the Northenden.NET archaeological project, reminds us that the much trumpeted "Operation Motorbike" continues apace. This project aims to rid our streets of unlicensed motorbikes being driven by kids often too young even to qualify for a license. I'd like to point out that this nuisance is very much the minority and it's not good for law abiding, responsible riders like the one in our picture.
Of those who are less responsible, two of the more prolific youths were nicked in Stockport last month for an unrelated offence. I presume therefore that it was not these kids who were seen racing away from the recent Motorcycle raid on the TSB in the village last week.
Four wheels are always better than two and I presume that's why, in addition to the current trend of nicking cars, we seem to have a new craze of quad bikes - being driven by 14 year old kids without crash helmets - racing up and down my bloody road trying to destroy what's left of my remaining ear drum. I've given up watching ITV at full volume so I've been down Boots' and invested in a pair of ear plugs. They're not exactly comfortable, but they work. And they also blank out Ethel moaning that there's never anything decent to watch on the box. I hope she doesn't decide to start reading my web site instead.